Spiderman

11th March 2020

Spiderman

Below is a picture of my grandson, Theo ( sorry, Spiderman)  who is four today. I thank God for him and all my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I love them all dearly.  I found an entry in my journal for the day Theo was born. I will copy it here exactly as it is, with no editing, so, apologies now for errors etc. and sorry if you find it a bit boring.  My journal is just a daily rambling. 

March 11th 2016

7.30 am

Well, what news , there you are , another new addition. Baby Walker, born 4.25 am this morning. What lovely news. We will go over later for a few hours. New life, hew hope. That makes twenty one grandchildren now and what is to be is yet to be revealed.

I just wonder what the family will look like in ten or twenty years time. There'll be more grandchildren, but also more great grandchildren. 

What a blessing it is , our large family. And each new addition so precious. 

Tiny hands that will grow and perform the many tasks of life. That cheeky smile that says, oh it's good to be here with you guys!. Those chubby legs that will eventually get into mischievous corners. 

Who does he look like? Seeing the family genes in each of his expressions. 

And don't cry baby,we're all here for you. What will you be like? How tall? What will you like to do?What will you be good at? What kind of a person will you become? We love you to bits, even though we haven't met you yet. Your softness calls to us to hold you close, showing you how the world can be comfortable and kind. You might learn otherwise later. But, for now, for you, the world is wonderful. 

And I am your Grams. 

Hopefully we'll get lots of time together to get to know each other.

Hopefully, I'll be blessed with many more years of life , so I'll be able to enjoy your own family in the future.

I wonder what your sister and brother will make of you. Will Liam, big brother, protect you, look after you? And Livi has been looking forward to your coming for a long time now. She'll be over the moon with you, I'm sure. 

And your Dad, his heart will melt, he'll fall in love with you, with your obvious likeness to him, part of him. And of course, your mum, she'll be so happy.

See what joy you bring to the world. All your aunts and uncles, cousins and other relations are there for you, loving you already. You are one lucky little boy. 

And still no name yet. "Baby Walker", we laughed at that this morning, at the pun, me and grandad. 

As I get older, I get more sentimental about our family. It becomes more important . And my hope is that during the time left to me, I see more of all my children ( those with or without children) and all the grandchildren. I will have to make plans so that we get to do this.  

Affair

A comment of mine that went in a magazine

Happy Monday! Here's a dilemma for you - remember to comment as much as you can to get £25!

A few years ago, my parents divorced after my mum found out my Dad was having an affair with another woman. He left and moved in with her and they’ve recently had a baby. Mum has always had trouble coming to terms with what happened and resents him so much. They've since had a baby and she hasn't been coping well. My sister and I, who are both in our thirties, still see him. However, Mum has told us how she feels betrayed that we have a relationship with him. We know he shouldn’t have cheated as it's caused so much heartache but he's still our Dad. I feel really torn, as I've always been on Mum's side. Should we stop seeing him?

I can feel your pain and the dilemma you are in. It's not an easy situation .  And also, I really understand how your mum is still so hurt by the betrayal and feel for her too. I have no idea how I would feel if that happened to me ( I've been married for forty seven years) or to my own parents who were married for sixty three years before they died. How would us children have dealt with that? It's a big thing. Society today brushes it off so easily.

Your poor mum is suffering so much. It was an horrendous thing to have happened.  

But, you are right, he is still your dad and you and your sister should have a relationship with him, of that there is no doubt. It is absolutely  not a question of taking sides, you can be sure of that. And whilst you say you've always been on mum's side, which is understandable, it's time to let go of the idea that you stand with one or the other. You have two parents, a mother and a father, be loyal to them both. Love them both, equally if you can. You may find that you get a bit cross with dad because he caused so much heartache, but at the end of the day, he is your dad and we are all flawed in some way. 

Try to explain to mum that you don't love her any the less and by loving your dad you are putting her teaching of love into practice. Explain that you only have one father and one mother and whatever they are like you will love them. Maybe you could help your dear mum to decide not to allow your father to hurt her anymore. As it is, she was hurt by the betrayal and is still hurting by continuing to live it. Hold her close, but don't stop seeing your dad.
With a lot of love and affection for both of them you will bring happiness to yourself as well as to them . And if she is willing, keep your sister in the loop too. Build on the good.

Three years ago today

11th March 2019

I don't usually share writing from my journals, especially on my blog, which obviously, gets seen by so many people.
But I make an exception today.
Three years ago today a grandson was born - he was neither the first child nor grandchild, but when I heard the news early in the morning I had to go to my journal. Looking back, I'm surprised by the joy of it, considering it was only a month after my mum died.
I copy exactly as I wrote it, unedited, bearing in mind, it's a stream on consciousness.

11th March 2016


Well, what news, there you are , another new addition!
Baby Walker, born 4.25 am this morning. What lovely news.
We will go over later, for a few hours. New life, new hope - that
makes twenty one grandchildren now and what is to be is yet to be revealed.
I just wonder what the family will look like in ten or twenty years time. No doubt there'll
be more grandchildren, but also more great grandchildren.
What a blessing it is, our large family. And each new addition so precious.
Your tiny hands, baby,  that will one day perform that many tasks of life. That cheeky smile that says,
"Heh, it's good to be here with you guys!" Those chubby legs that will eventually get into, goodness knows what, mischief as well as kicking a ball and running with brothers and sisters and cousins.
Who does he look like? Seeing the family genes in each of his delicious expressions.
And don't cry, baby, we're all here for you.
What will you be like? How tall? What will you like to do? What will you be good at? What kind of person will you become?
We love you to bits already, even though we haven't met you yet. Your softness calls to us to hold you close, showing you how the world can be comfortable, safe and kine. You might learn otherwise later.
But for now, for you, the world is wonderful.
And I am your Grams. Hopefully we'll get lots of time together to get to know each other. Hope fully, I'll be blessed with many more years of life, so I'll be able to enjoy you own family, if you have one,  in the future.
I wonder what your brother and sister will make of you. Livi has been looking forward to your coming for such a long time now. She'll be over the moon with you' I'm sure.
And your dad, his heart will melt , he'll fall in love with your obvious likeness to him, part of him. He'll love you with his life.
And of course, your mum will be so happy.
See what joy you bring to the world.  All your aunties and uncles, cousins and other relations there for you, loving you already. You are one lucky little boy. And still no name yet, though it is early days. "Baby Walker" - we laughed at that this morning, at the pun.
As I get older I get more sentimental about our family. It becomes more important and my hope is that I see more of all my children ( those with or those without children ) and all the grandchildren. I'll have to make plans....

Fantastical

29th October 2016

Day 24 

Fantastical

The clocks go back tonight

You get an extra hour in bed
More time for fantastical dreams
To swim around your head

But if you've a baby in your house

The hour won't be for you

The little one will wake at the time

His body clock tells him to.

Five

23rd September


My writing hands are itching to get words down, but the inspiration is a bit weak. Will keep trying. Going to try the poem a day through October though and just flexing my muscles a little to prepare.

 Five 

Three more sleeps, I will survive,

Come on baby sleep now.

Yet no matter how hard I strive,

There's always all to do.

It's not that I've forgotten the way,

To care for  children, no,

But  my old bones are weary today

Out of the habit and slow.

Cooking every day for seven not two,

And one that can't eat dairy

It takes all my time to organise it's true,

But clean plates remain.

Up at six to get them all ready,

One for big school, leaving at seven.

Oh, and is it the day to take  teddy?

Yes, it's here, found, thank heaven.

Back to the house baby and toddler,

what shall we do all day,

Let's clean out a cupboard or two

Let's put some clothes away.

And let's play dressing up, you be queen,

let's tell a story that's ours,

The best adventure there's ever been

It could take for hours.

And in the evening when all are ready for bed,

Let's read a story before you go,

Quiet going up be careful where you tread,

The baby is asleep, so be slow.

And when the week comes to and end,

And mum and dad come back,

Grandma and grandad retreat to their home

And immediately hit the sack...

Number twenty two

  10th July 2016

New baby grandson born 5th July .
Each new birth is such a huge miracle -  every time.

Welcome To You

Your soft, smooth, brand new skin against my lips

Brings the future to the present and embodies the past.

Your precious, particular baby smell

Finds my nostrils remembering all the other babies 

I could drink it in all day.

Your tiny hands, although fingers long, give promise 

Of the life ahead.

And with you in my arms, cradled 

I am hypnotized by you, by your being.

Welcome to the world little man.

Baby Rose Alphabet

Day 22:  22st April,  22nd poem

And going back a few days we had the prompt of the ABC alphabet poem:

Baby Rose

A new

Baby
Causes us to have  a
Drink and
Everyone in the
Family loves her. I am her
Great grandma.
How she
Inspires me to
Jot down my poems. I want to
Kiss her, shout out
Loud and  say...
May you live a
Noble life full
Of
Promise
Quiet and joyful little
Rose
Singing a soft
Tune to
  Us
Very sweetly
We won't need an
 X Box to keep us entertained
You'll  always put us in the right
Zone