Tuesday, October 24, 2023

All over the floor

2nd October 2023

 

All Over the Floor

All over the floor,

From one side of the room 

to the other, 

strewn haphazardly,

lay little mounds of clothes.

She sits in the midst,

her hand reaches for  

a purple jumper,

a tear falls 

and she breathes out 

a slow sigh.

As she always did, 

with black bags that 

were left on her doorstep,

she'd tipped  them out 

all over the floor. 

It was something she always 

felt excited about. 

What would she find

among the clothes, the brick o back, the books.?

Always something she needed, 

for the children or the house. 

But always, too, an unexpected 

treasure.

Like the time,

it was near Christmas

when there was a pair of 

burgandy coloured patent shoes,

the sort you'd go out dancing in, 

the sort she loved but 

couldn't buy for herself,

the sort she could now wear to the 

Christmas party with their friends.


Friday, May 19, 2023

Memoir

 17th May 2023

How's The Book Going ?

That's a question I'm often asked .

So:

Let me tell you how things are going with the book. xxx

The short answer is , amazingly well, thank you. In fact way beyond my expectations!!




Without any real marketing or advertising,  lots of orders are coming in for my memoir. This is both surprising and truly unexpected. 

However, as I find it virtually impossible to promote myself, it's also  been helpful.

  My old friend, Imposter Syndrome, finds many reasons why people wouldn't be interested in my story.    You know how it goes:                                                                                                                    "Who do you think you are, you're not a real writer."                                                                                                                            "You're a rubbish writer, so immature," he continues, "You've absolutely nothing interesting to say," and, "Who on earth would want to know about your life?" And so it goes on. 

Well,  Mr Imposter Syndrome, judging by the feedback, apparently lots of people want to know about my life.                                                                                             And, what's more, My Imposter Syndrome , I actually went and did it. I did.  I went and  wrote the book!  So there!!

Anyway, I'm no longer friends with him. I'm letting him drift quietly, out of my life. Or, maybe he'll cause a scene.  That doesn't matter. All I know is, he has to go. He's taken up far too much time and energy and is no real friend at all. If he comes knocking at my door I'm going to firmly tell him to get lost. 

So, dear friends, those who read my blog regularly and those who have stopped by on the off chance, let me share with you a sample of some of the beautiful comments I've received about my memoir, "Nun to Nine".  

The blurb on the back says:

The  title  brings  the question over and over, " Were you a nun , then?" , to which the answer is variations of , "Well now, you'd have to read the book to find that out, wouldn't you?" And this is encouragement enough for some.

Some comments from those who've read it:

  "There is Plenty to recommend about this book.... It is deftly written, with an eventful and entertaining life story and has pace and vitality...                                                                    I think Marian's storytelling is, by far, the strength of her writing. She writes effortlessly, with believable dialogue and with an eye for good storytelling. The reader is drawn into the story immediately with the account of the death of her parents... The story is both lively and interesting throughout, and maintains the readers  interest from start to finish."  ( C) (Part of a much longer piece!)

"Finished! A really good read and I didn't want to put it down. I completely "got " the characters, you're so clever! You took such a risk, opening your heart as you did. Your courage has be in absolute awe. I hope you have already started the next book... Thank you for such a beautiful and heartfelt memoir. It will remain with me for a long, long time!" (M)

A friend says:

"It is very much your voice: direct, personal, honest. And the  thread that runs throughout is your and Peter's love for each other. God knew that your vocation was to marriage - with all the sacrifices that entails - not to a nunnery. It wasn't blind chance that brought you together; it was the providence of God... " (F)

"...what an opening chapter. Emotional and beautifully told 💓😭 in pieces." (K)

"...the first chapter has me in floods of tears! Do I dare continue? 😟" (J) Rhetorical question, obviously.

"Thoroughly enjoyed reading the fabulous Marian Green's recently published memoir. It was as though she was with me, on my train journey, telling me her story." (C) 

"Had to contact you to say I started reading your book and love it." (M)

"Dear Marian,                                                                                                                         just started   reading your book last night and was   in floods of tears at the picture you painted of your parents' deaths.

You are very good at making the scenes come alive by describing the little details. For example, the purple blanket that you and Peter first bought in London which you couldn't bear to get rid of. 

You seemed such a warm and plucky person full of determination and full of fear simultaneously. I can relate to that!. The early times in Northampton when you felt the darkness inside you before you found Faith. And Peter's steadfast love for you even when you annoyed him!

I am hooked by the story and find it very heartfelt ... I haven't finished the book yet  as I want to savour it for a bit longer. " ( E)

      "Finished reading your memoir. I didn't want it to end . I was hooked from the beginning and wanted more..   Marian that was a well written memoir ... (Name) keeps asking me about your book and if I've read it...I loved reading it and hope you write a further book ..." (K)

"Hi, I just finished your book. Loved it...I thought it was a triumph. I found myself engrossed in the beauty of seemingly ordinary life. It's charming, conversational pattern warms the reader. What I loved most about it was, well, while it is of personal interest to me, its social commentary highlights the wider human experience. Its ontological truth it highlights on human nature is fascinating , like holding up a mirror to what intrinsically makes us human.                                            PS.  I might use it with my philosophy class next year..." (M)

" Wow, what a lovely memoir. I definitely wanted to know more about your life. So interesting." (F)

"I so loved reading your memoir Marian. I took it on holiday and it was like having a friend with you telling all the stories of their life. x  I can't wait for next one " (K) 


And  many people ( well, probably over  ten ) have said  they passed it on to others, (some two or three times) to a family member, or friend.   

Someone came up to me and said she'd been reading my memoir - her friend gave it to her and told her it was brilliant.

Another person told me , "your memoir is doing the rounds of all my friends. I'm sure they'll love it. " (W)

And a friend caught me after church one morning and said, "Marian, I am loving your book. I've known you for how many years now, is it twenty something? Well now I know you better. You were very brave being so open. It's wonderful and I'm passing it on to ..." ( C) 

And from Marnie Summerfield Smith , my mentor:

"This is an absolutely wonderful memoir. I am very proud to have assisted Marian, who came to one of my writing retreats and invited me to read and feedback on her work. A wonderful woman and a very insightful memoir, full of retrospection, thoughtful writing and emotion. Bravo, Marian!"  ( www.yourmemoir.co.uk ) 

Well, thanks Marnie. 

I am absolutely blown away by such wonderful reactions.

So, if you're wondering how to get your own copy, email me at:

marian-green@hotmail.com  





Monday, May 1, 2023

The Gate of the Sheepfold

 Gospel : John 10:1-10                                                             30th  April 2023

Jesus said:

I tell you most solemnly, anyone who does not enter the sheepfold through the gate, but gets in some other way is a thief and a brigand. The one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the flock; the gatekeeper lets him in, the sheep hear his voice, one by one he calls his own sheep and leads them out. When he has brought out his flock, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow because they know his voice. They never follow a stranger but run away from him: they do not recognise the voice of strangers.’ Jesus told them this parable but they failed to understand what he meant by telling it to them.  So Jesus spoke to them again: 

‘I tell you most solemnly,  I am the gate of the sheepfold. All others who have come are thieves and brigands; but the sheep took no notice of them. I am the gate. Anyone who enters through me will be safe: he will go freely in and out and be sure of finding pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it to the full.

                                 

        Jesus you  tell us You are The Gate to the sheepfold and we must enter through You. But You  also say, the one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the flock. Could it be that Jesus, You are  both the gate and the shepherd?                                                                      And Jesus,  could it also be that the Holy Father  and the Bishops with him are the shepherds who  lead the sheep, the flock, us, through the gate .                                                                                   Again, Jesus, could it also be that You  call us  to, not only go through Jesus ( the gate) , but also be shepherds ourselves,  to the many sheep who  wander the world not knowing in where to find the Truth, where to find Eternal Life, where to find Salvation. 

         Jesus, You say You have  come "that they may have life and have it to the full", that we may have life and have it to the full, finding green pasture and bringing, hopefully, many with us.  

Help us be mindful,  Jesus, on this Good Shepherd Sunday,  that we have to follow You closely, to get to know You well,  to listen attentively to You, knowing that You will lead us through the narrow gate, to be with You and be safe. 

         And to do that we have to be very close to Him, to know Him well, to be intimate with Him.  


The Feast of St Joseph The Worker

  1st May 2023

St Joseph the Worker.

For a long time now this Feastday has been one of my favourites.

The Gospel for today gives that that wonderful description,   meant to be derogatory but,  when we think about it , so meaningful, of Jesus after the people heard Him teaching in the Synagogue in Nazareth:                                                       "Where did  the man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers? This is the carpenter's son, surely? Is not His mother the woman called Mary,...."



Jesus - Son of the carpenter, a worker. 

The worker:

Haven't we, like Joseph,  from the very beginning been created to work?

Gen 2.15 "The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it."

From this verse, we can conclude, can we not, that man's God given purpose, is  to work?   

The purpose of creation is to give Glory to God and the way we humans do that is by our work.  To do our work well, whatever it is, is an opportunity for us to give Glory to God and be part of His creative process.                                                                                               What is the best work we can do for God then, what will please Him more?                                                                                            The doctor saving peoples lives?                                                      The farmer growing crops so that we might live?                                     The teacher imparting knowledge to our children?

I'd say the one who does their work with more love of God.

And that could be the simple road sweeper, or any other worker, who works well and does it with great love of God.

All work, any work, is an opportunity to love God more.

And as that's what we are made for, we can do it all of our life.

Of course, after the fall work became difficult, but that does not negate the beauty of it. Work is not a punishment that was inflicted on humanity because of our pride and disobedience. 

Gen 3:17

"Then to Adam He said, Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten the tree about which I commanded you, saying, "You shall not eat from it"; cursed is the ground because of you: With hard labour you shall eat from it all the days of your life."

So, Adam's curse is one of hardship in doing the necessary work of life, work that would otherwise have brought joy and meaning to his existence. 

"Get rid of the idea that work is a punishment. Work is our way to give Glory to God. Rather than being a punishment it is how God intended for men and women to mature , growing into His image and likeness" (Bishop Echevarria)

It was after my third daughter was born, that I  understood for this for the first time. To realise that my "work" in the home, as a wife and mother was my way to sanctity, changed my life forever. 

Changing the babies nappy, washing the kitchen floor, doing the dishes, everything was now working for God. 

 

May is the Month of Mary and thinking about the Holy Family today is a good start to the the month. 

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Thankfuls

 29th April 2023


Hello, friends, although this post is for the Ten Things of Thankful blog hop, I first, to get it off my chest,  want to mention a little "sorrow" that I'm feeling. 

April is   National Poetry Month. It's the same every year and in the past I've enjoyed taking part in it. The idea is to post a poem  a day  throughout the month of April. I love   challenging   myself with this brain aching activity.                                                   I am so sad that, this year, I missed it.  Yesterday, I saw a post  about it and  was gutted that it was too late to get involved. 

However, it did make me think that maybe I need to be more involved with a community of writers through my blog. 

So, folks, the first thing I'm grateful for today is that I was prompted to search out the TTOF bloghop. 


When we came to buy our house, it was a main concern of mine to have a south or south west facing garden, so that while sitting out in the afternoons and evenings we'd get beautiful views of the gorgeous sunsets across the bay. And our garden is definitely  a very pleasant place to be throughout, not just the summer, but spring and autumn too. 
The plants - a rhododendron, four rose bushes, two climbing clematis, and  lavender plants  are just a few - give me so much joy and a feeling of calm. The only problem? Yes, you got there. There's just never enough time to spend in the garden.
That's the back garden,  as I said, facing south west, which was a priority. 

However, it   didn't occur to me to think about the front of the house and the fact that it faced East.  I never gave it a thought, never imagined it might make an impact on our life. 
Well, I'm here to tell you that it does. 
You see, our bedroom faces East, which means we get the early morning sun streaming in as soon as it makes an appearance. And, at this time of year, when there's still a little bit of a chill in the air and we have a window open for ventilation and to keep the mould at bay, it's such a blessing to have the warmth of the early morning sun drench us as it casts itself  in rectangular strips across our bed. 
We listen to a meditation, with the birdsong interjecting and drink our first cup of tea. It's a treasure I didn't expect. 

With my heart full to overflowing, I think that's enough for ten thankfuls  for today. 
Until next time then... 
  



Monday, April 17, 2023

Spring Cleaning

 17/04/23

Spring Cleaning

Forty days of lent, that long, penitential, pilgrimage, 

 brought us to Holy Week.

Holy Week , when, hopefully we were  more closely united to Our Lord in His sufferings.

Then the climax, the three days of the Easter Triduum, including Holy Thursday with Jesus washing

 the feet of the Apostles, with the betrayer leaving, with the Command, Love one another as I have

 loved you, with the institution of the Priesthood. And then  Good Friday, where we accompany Jesus

 as He carries His cross to Calvary, as we stand with , and accompany  Mary and the Apostle John as

 He takes His last breath.   

Finally, after all the beautiful liturgies, that are completely draining,

 both  spiritually and emotionally  we  reach the climax,  the Easter Vigil and Wow,

 now the Joyous season of Easter begins. 


Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia  



This joy, this hopeful  tone,

 this feeling of a new beginning, 

spills over into other areas of  life. 

 For instance, there's  something, isn't there, 

 about the warm spring air 

that makes us ( it can't be only me !)

 want to clean, to clear out, 

to declutter  and to reorganise.  

The new light shows up the dust,

the grime, the messy corners. 

Under the bed, those cobwebs, 

where did they come from? 

Out you go.

That pile of books, can it be

culled?

OK! 

I'm not going that far

How long have those sticky

 fingers prints been on the glass doors?

I'm coming for you.



Wednesday, March 15, 2023

No Bucket

 15th March 2023


"You have no bucket, sir, and the well is deep: how could you get this living water?"


Today, in the liturgy, there is the choice to have again the beautiful, gloriously rich story of the Samaritan Woman.

I was struck for the first time - and I've listened to and read the story many , many times over my nearly 70 years -  by the simple,  everyday way in which the woman talks to Jesus - "You have no bucket..."

It made me think how easy it is not to trust that God is God and that he needs no bucket. 
How often do we think, that's impossibly ?

How often do we lack  Faith in Jesus to give us what we need.

How often does our action say,
 "You have no bucket..." 
 "How are you going to do that?" 

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Ash Wednesday

 22nd Feb 2023






Ash Wednesday always comes as a bit of a surprise to me. And here we are again. 

Yesterday, I found a Christmas bauble from the tree, under the units in the hallway. A remnant of the celebrations and the beautiful season that seem to be only just finished. Is it my age? 

Now, today we start the journey of lent . I'll go to Holy Mass as I do most days. But there will be some differences. All the statues will be draped in purple and the priests will be dressed in the same colour. There will be no Alleluia and we'll ask the Lord, "A pure heart create for me O God..." Yes, we'll be reminded that we are sinners. 

Of course, we'll also get the ashes:

"Remember man that thou are dust , 

and unto dust thou shalt return."

Later,  hubby and I will decided together how to approach the fasting and abstaining that's required of us. And boy, will that be difficult with visitors coming, who we'll try and host without them knowing what we are doing. Obviously if it comes up we'll tell them , but we won't make things difficult for them.

I'm still wondering what I will do for lent. 

Give something up?

Have a plan to put charity into practice?

Do something spiritual, like meditating with scripture?

Or all three?

Anyway, this time is given to us to prepare for the wonderful, most important celebration of Our Lord's resurrection at Easter. So , in some way, I'll concentrate on that.

Tell me, how do you approach Lent?


Saturday, January 21, 2023

Wild Writing

 

Wild Writing                                                         21st January 2023






    It was because I had a few hours to myself this morning that I found I was able to get to sit down and think, "What do I want to do?" Don't misunderstand me, as I looked around the house there was plenty of "jobs" that called to me and which I could have happily occupied myself with. 
But today I wanted to spend some time playing. 
I wanted to spend some time playing with words.
Interestingly, last week I randomly found a free five day "Wild Writing Course", which I thought I'd like to do. Just as quickly as I had that thought I put it out of my mind, because, you know, how would I fit in these zoom sessions. 

    Although I didn't consciously think about it over the next few days, it was obviously fluttering about somewhere inside me and, with time to spare this morning I now went looking for it. 
Luckily for me, not only did I find the course, but there were recordings of the sessions, which meant that I could partake of them at my leisure.
So, for an hour, not totally uninterrupted, I worked through the first recording. I am so thankful for this time.

    Listening to the two poems, that were used as prompts,  inspired and encouraged me to be brave with my own "Wild Writing". 
 
    For instance, the poem "Every Grace" by Stella Nesanovich, helped me to appreciate  how simple, ordinary,  moments can be Holy. I am thankful that, there on the page, I recorded, those shards of time  when I made happy connections with some of the people I love.

Photo Credit - Argos


    One of those times was baking with two of my gorgeous grandaughters. Oh the joy, the laughter, the chatting  as our lives were softly  bound together just like the ingredients in our cake were mixed and beaten  together - every egg, every spoon of sugar and flour,  every ounce of butter - until the  texture was just right.   Finally, when baked it became, like we had,  a  new creation.   The process of  baking - weighing ingredients, combining them the right way, etc etc..- was less important than  sharing those precious , ordinary, Holy moments.  The smiles, the stories, the questions. Precious indeed.  



Photo Credit - Getty Images




   Walking with a friend along the coastal path  was another cause for me giving  thanks this week.  Again, I thought of it because of the poem. 
 Going at quite a pace we breathed  the  briny air deep into our lungs, while seagulls squawked in the blue sky above us and winter  waves crashed against the barriers. 
We walked into the strong wind,    all the while chatting and laughing about all sorts of unimportant, yet vital,  trivia, both of us wallowing, one in the comfortable company of the other, sharing everything and nothing. 
At the end of our walk,  we hugged, we said goodbye, but we both felt much lighter for our time together.

Then there was the phone call with one of my daughters who  I don't get to see as often as I'd like , yet, even though many miles separate us we are deeply connected and our friendship grows with the passing of the years as we build each other up and understand each other better and love each other more. That's just one phone call from one daughter. I am truly blessed that I have a good , loving,  relationship ( but different, obviously) with each  of my children,  grandchildren and great grandchildren. 


It's like this, and I've said it before and I repeated  it again to my son's partner when they visited me unexpectedly this morning. A distraction, I have to say,  I was more than happy with. It's like this: I ask the question, if I were to die today what regrets would I have or what would I be sorry I didn't do or didn't see?
It's a question I've asked myself often and this morning I answered in response to  this lovely thirty something girl feeling stuck and fed up and that life is passing her by and there's so much that she hasn't done and still wishes to do but is too scared to take a risk. 
If I had little time left on earth, it wouldn't be the places I haven't visited, like Venice or America, that I would be sorry about, it would be not loving enough the family and friends I've been so fortunate to have in my life. 

And really, that's it.