Friday, February 1, 2019

Teepee

1st Feb 2019



Struggled to write just the 100 words for Friday Fictioneers today. Had to edit from 300 - ish. Hope it still has some sense.
Might still write  a poem with in response to this prompt though.




Wild Place
 
Rosanna pulled back the canvas.
"Wow, Clare look. The sky - pink, purple, orange, hues of  blue.
And mountains ..."
Her sister looked through the peephole.
"Wow that's amazing. But I won't forget."
"I know. Let dad sleep. We'll make coffee."  Wrapped  in blankets they walked to chairs, left out the night before.
" You know they always planned to come here,  the two of them ."
"Yes, but not with us, Ros.  Dad's just being weird."
"There used to be four chairs," Ros sat down, "lately only  two," she wiped away a tear, "and  now three. We're here because dad needs this."





25 comments :

  1. This sounds like a nostalgic trip for all of them, Maz. Nicely done.

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  2. This was lovingly done, Maz. It was a necessity, I should think.

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  3. Oh. And you really have to work on how you link your story! I have to type in your blog title on another tab because the link brings me to an insecure connection...

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    1. I haven't been able to sort it. Sorry. Thanks for taking the trouble to find me

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  4. Guessing it’s a pretty sad situation. This photo has something sad and pathetic about it, I found. And yes one hundred words is frustrating!

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    1. Yes, I was trying to portray sad...thank you...


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  5. Awww, it sounds like they've all suffered some loss. Hope they find solace in the beauty out there, and in each other.

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  6. This is beautiful in its sadness. Coping with loss is never easy. It looks like they do the best they can. I think it's a great idea that you leave your link with the comments, that way I could find you.

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    1. Thank you. I don't know why the link doesn't work like it should, though

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  7. I think they are doing great! And they will get through their loss together.

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  8. Dear Maz,

    A poignant story of family love. I know what a struggle it can be to whittle these pieces down to 100 words. Nonetheless it's an excellent exercise for helping the writer see which words are the most important even in longer pieces.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS Again I had to come through the "backdoor" to get to you. The inLinkz won't allow me access.

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    1. Thanks Rochelle. I can't work out the problem with the link up, sorry. Thank you for taking the trouble to come in the back way ...

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  9. Nice story. It is good that two sisters have brought to a place he really likes.

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  10. Ah, found you! Sad story - but I must admit I did find it a bit disjointed.

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    1. Thank you Susan. I'd like to know more on why you thought it a bit disjointed.

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  11. It started with much excitement, but turned into a sad tale. but somehow it gives hope. they will pull through, I'm sure.

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  12. Nothing is as pure as family love!
    This is a tale of loss and hope. I am sure they will overcome this loss together. They all need each other in this time. Beautifully penned.

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  13. We have entered the "age to come" foretold by Jesus in Mark 10:30.

    http://risen-from-the-dead.forumotion.com/

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Please feel free to comment with advice and critique.