Friday, January 25, 2019

Hidden

24th Jan 2019

 The Friday Fictioneers Challenge

Hidden
Once you were loved
someone cared for you 
caressed you
treated you fine
took you on outings 
beautiful lady smooth lines
out for a good time
in your prime
but now
you are alone
on your own
hidden in the forest
tall trees grow up 
 around you 
hem you in 
you are trapped
briars and bracken
poke through the ruins 
of your broken body
your heart
no longer beats 
your paint flakes
your eyes are blinded
the lights gone out
you are old now 
and rusted
you are no use anymore

Words 93










Posted by at
Labels: , , , ,

16 comments :

  1. SandiJanuary 25, 2019 at 12:16 PM

    Sorrow...

    A lot of people feel this way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsJanuary 25, 2019 at 4:44 PM

    Dear Marian,

    Sad tale, be it car or be it human. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS Still can't access your link on the inLinkz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. grams ramblingsJanuary 28, 2019 at 3:30 AM

      Thank you Rochelle. Haven't a clue why the link up is not working for my blog. I'll keep trying...

      Delete
  3. messymimiJanuary 25, 2019 at 6:43 PM

    Well done, and very sad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. DaleJanuary 26, 2019 at 11:02 AM

    Well done, Marian!

    Your link does not work... it brings us to a non-secure message...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. grams ramblingsJanuary 28, 2019 at 3:31 AM

      Thanks Dale. Not sure what's going on with the link. Can't see anything

      Delete
  5. Dawn Q.January 26, 2019 at 12:05 PM

    Marian, this is a tender piece that leaves us wondering if it's a person or a thing; it doesn't matter. Lovely.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. grams ramblingsJanuary 28, 2019 at 3:32 AM

      Thanks Dawn. I was hoping it would come across as being either. Thanks for the feedback

      Delete
  6. Anshu BhojnagarwalaJanuary 28, 2019 at 4:39 AM

    Autobiography of a car - once you are old and rusty, no one cares ! I tell you what, it could very well be true for an old person too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. grams ramblingsFebruary 1, 2019 at 4:06 AM

      Thanks Anshu. So pleased you got the underlying reference.

      Delete
  7. KISLAYA GOPALJanuary 29, 2019 at 9:48 PM

    Through the journey of this car, you have drawn beautiful parallels between the life stages of a car (a non living thing) and a human being.
    Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. grams ramblingsFebruary 1, 2019 at 4:05 AM

      Thank you Kislaya . I was seeing it that way. Glad it came across.

      Delete
  8. lisarey1990@gmail.comFebruary 1, 2019 at 4:41 AM

    So sad. Well-written.

    ReplyDelete

Please feel free to comment with advice and critique.

Subscribe to: Post Comments ( Atom )