Thursday, January 10, 2019

Shells


10th Jan 2019

I have just found Friday Fictioneers. The idea on this site is to write a story in exactly one hundred words. There is a prompt to get you started.
So, I thought I'd have a go.

Shells

"What about this one Grams?"
"Wow, love that. Put it here, in the bag."
Chrissie runs on the beach, looks for more shells, forgetting,
 for the moment, to be sad.
The waves rush in. And within me an ocean rises up to meet them.
I wipe tears from my eyes.
Musn't let her see me cry. She's only three and the enormity of what's
 happened washes over her.
For just these moments she is free.
She run's towards me.
"Gram's, I'm so cold. Can we go home?"
I pick her up, hold her close, burying  my face in her coat.
And wonder, Can we?
Posted by at
Labels: , , , , , , ,

43 comments :

  1. trailblazerJanuary 10, 2019 at 5:45 AM

    This is a very touching story. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  2. trailblazerJanuary 10, 2019 at 5:50 AM

    Here's a story involving a grandma- I am not sure, if you will like it.
    Please let me know. It's quite okay even if you don't feature it in your blog :-)
    https://stilllovedstillmissed.wordpress.com/2018/12/12/life-lessons-from-the-murky-waters/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Frankie PerussaultJanuary 10, 2019 at 7:02 AM

    Well done! Try the next prompt again next Wednesday on Rochelle's website. She is the host for FRIDAY FRICTIONEERS here: https://rochellewisoff.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Susan A EamesJanuary 10, 2019 at 8:19 AM

    Oh, that was so poignant. Beautifully done!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    ReplyDelete
  5. Alice AudreyJanuary 10, 2019 at 8:42 AM

    So much hinted at but unsaid. I assume her parents died. Is Grams now homeless? What could have happened?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maz GreenJanuary 10, 2019 at 8:56 AM

      I don't actually know. Enough is enough...
      Thanks for your comment Alice

      Delete
  6. messymimiJanuary 10, 2019 at 4:08 PM

    Very touching!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Alistair PhillipsJanuary 10, 2019 at 11:57 PM

    Such sadness. I'm glad the little one got a few moments of happiness on the beach before she remembers.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Victor S E MoubarakJanuary 11, 2019 at 7:21 AM

    Very difficult in just 100 words. My stories are somewhat longer.

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maz GreenJanuary 11, 2019 at 10:59 AM

      Yes Victor, it's difficult to write to the constraint but I do like it...and it keeps me writing . I'll never be good enough to write a novel ...but... at least I write...
      And God Bless to you too..

      Delete
  9. Lisa ReynoldsJanuary 11, 2019 at 2:05 PM

    Very touching.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ga HJanuary 12, 2019 at 2:02 PM

    There is a lot of drama and heartbreak hidden in this story. The feeling of overwhelming sadness is very clear. Great writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maz GreenJanuary 13, 2019 at 12:54 AM

      Thank you so much That's exactly what I wanted to convey

      Delete
  11. Anshu BhojnagarwalaJanuary 13, 2019 at 1:58 AM

    Such a sad and touching story... Something untoward has happened to the girl's parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maz GreenJanuary 13, 2019 at 7:02 AM

      Well, maybe Anshu. I haven't got an answer.
      So pleased to receive your comment.

      Delete
  12. going through introspectionJanuary 13, 2019 at 4:42 AM

    There's a lot of heartbreak in the past it seems. A very poignant tale.

    Piyali (WordPress)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Subroto PantJanuary 13, 2019 at 4:35 PM

    Beautifully done. Welcome to the Friday Fictioneers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maz GreenJanuary 14, 2019 at 4:30 AM

      Thank you, Subroto, happy to have found it. I've enjoyed reading through the varied stories and am always amazed at how a prompt will send people of in so many different directions.

      Delete
  14. DaleJanuary 14, 2019 at 6:40 AM

    A lovely, sad story I can relate to all too well.
    Beautifully done.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Maz GreenJanuary 14, 2019 at 10:06 AM

    Thanks Dale

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownJanuary 14, 2019 at 12:07 PM

    We do a lot to protect the ones we love. Though it can be hard to stay strong in the face of utter dismay. Great write :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. iamthewalrusJanuary 14, 2019 at 7:01 PM

    So sad, it makes its point so well without referring to exactly what the problem is

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maz GreenJanuary 16, 2019 at 3:05 AM

      Yes, I was trying to create a bit of mystery

      Delete
  18. Fatima FakierJanuary 14, 2019 at 9:27 PM

    An excellent way to make a debut with this touching story. Welcome to the group!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lynn LoveJanuary 15, 2019 at 4:56 AM

    Welcome to FF! And what a great debut, as Fatima says. A strong story, with real emotion and issues hinted at not laboured over. Touching and lovely

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sascha DarlingtonJanuary 15, 2019 at 1:49 PM

    Sad and beautifully written.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anne DoucetteJanuary 16, 2019 at 9:13 AM

    Such a beautifully sad story. I hope they can go home one day.

    Anne from annehiga.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. IraJanuary 17, 2019 at 9:46 PM

    Love the way you have left the interpretation of the cause open. Strong emotions ,beautifully woven.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsJanuary 25, 2019 at 4:39 PM

    Dear Marian,

    Finally, a way to your blog. The icon on the inLinz prevents me every time, but I was able to click your link on your comment on my blog. So here is where I should've welcomed you to Friday Fictioneers. Very touching story. Well written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
  24. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsJanuary 25, 2019 at 4:40 PM

    Dear Marian,

    Finally, a way to your blog. The icon on the inLinz prevents me every time, but I was able to click your link on your comment on my blog. So here is where I should've welcomed you to Friday Fictioneers. Very touching story. Well written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete

Please feel free to comment with advice and critique.

Subscribe to: Post Comments ( Atom )