Thursday, January 10, 2019

Shells


10th Jan 2019

I have just found Friday Fictioneers. The idea on this site is to write a story in exactly one hundred words. There is a prompt to get you started.
So, I thought I'd have a go.

Shells

"What about this one Grams?"
"Wow, love that. Put it here, in the bag."
Chrissie runs on the beach, looks for more shells, forgetting,
 for the moment, to be sad.
The waves rush in. And within me an ocean rises up to meet them.
I wipe tears from my eyes.
Musn't let her see me cry. She's only three and the enormity of what's
 happened washes over her.
For just these moments she is free.
She run's towards me.
"Gram's, I'm so cold. Can we go home?"
I pick her up, hold her close, burying  my face in her coat.
And wonder, Can we?

43 comments :

  1. This is a very touching story. :-(

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  2. Here's a story involving a grandma- I am not sure, if you will like it.
    Please let me know. It's quite okay even if you don't feature it in your blog :-)
    https://stilllovedstillmissed.wordpress.com/2018/12/12/life-lessons-from-the-murky-waters/

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  3. Well done! Try the next prompt again next Wednesday on Rochelle's website. She is the host for FRIDAY FRICTIONEERS here: https://rochellewisoff.com/

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  4. Oh, that was so poignant. Beautifully done!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

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  5. So much hinted at but unsaid. I assume her parents died. Is Grams now homeless? What could have happened?

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    Replies
    1. I don't actually know. Enough is enough...
      Thanks for your comment Alice

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  6. Such sadness. I'm glad the little one got a few moments of happiness on the beach before she remembers.

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  7. Very difficult in just 100 words. My stories are somewhat longer.

    God bless.

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    Replies
    1. Yes Victor, it's difficult to write to the constraint but I do like it...and it keeps me writing . I'll never be good enough to write a novel ...but... at least I write...
      And God Bless to you too..

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  8. There is a lot of drama and heartbreak hidden in this story. The feeling of overwhelming sadness is very clear. Great writing.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much That's exactly what I wanted to convey

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  9. Such a sad and touching story... Something untoward has happened to the girl's parents.

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    Replies
    1. Well, maybe Anshu. I haven't got an answer.
      So pleased to receive your comment.

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  10. There's a lot of heartbreak in the past it seems. A very poignant tale.

    Piyali (WordPress)

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  11. Beautifully done. Welcome to the Friday Fictioneers.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Subroto, happy to have found it. I've enjoyed reading through the varied stories and am always amazed at how a prompt will send people of in so many different directions.

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  12. A lovely, sad story I can relate to all too well.
    Beautifully done.

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  13. We do a lot to protect the ones we love. Though it can be hard to stay strong in the face of utter dismay. Great write :)

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  14. So sad, it makes its point so well without referring to exactly what the problem is

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I was trying to create a bit of mystery

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  15. An excellent way to make a debut with this touching story. Welcome to the group!

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  16. Welcome to FF! And what a great debut, as Fatima says. A strong story, with real emotion and issues hinted at not laboured over. Touching and lovely

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  17. Such a beautifully sad story. I hope they can go home one day.

    Anne from annehiga.com

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  18. Love the way you have left the interpretation of the cause open. Strong emotions ,beautifully woven.

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  19. Dear Marian,

    Finally, a way to your blog. The icon on the inLinz prevents me every time, but I was able to click your link on your comment on my blog. So here is where I should've welcomed you to Friday Fictioneers. Very touching story. Well written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  20. Dear Marian,

    Finally, a way to your blog. The icon on the inLinz prevents me every time, but I was able to click your link on your comment on my blog. So here is where I should've welcomed you to Friday Fictioneers. Very touching story. Well written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete

Please feel free to comment with advice and critique.