Playground

PLAYGROUND

We weren't allowed to stay in
Even if we had bad weather
With coats and gloves we were shoved outside,
And told  we could huddle together.

That was ok for those who got on
They made their groups and told their tales,
But for me there was a lonely chill in the air
As I stood alone beside the rails.

The icy wind nibbled at my ears
And I watched the others warmly wrapped
I was invisible it seemed to me,
Scared in my  loneliness-  trapped.

That was when I was six or seven
But nothing changed much in the years after that
Teenagers still being marched out of doors,
I'd try to join in, get caught up in the chat.

You'd think I was happy to look at me
Jostling with others, learning to survive
It  put the bullies in their place
They wouldn't win while I could strive.

I thought I'd left all that behind
Grown up, been healed, moved on
Until I stood outside the playground
As a mum waiting for my son

The social isolation I felt came back to me
Those fearful emotions were with me again
But now I'm a grownup and have to get on
I'll smile, talk and finally, maybe,  bury the pain