Workman

 10th October

Workman

It's 8th October. The doorbell rings. It's 8.05 am. Looking out of the window I spot a white van. 

"I was expecting you at  8.30," peeping through the half open door I, awkwardly, pull my dressing gown more closely around me.

"Yeh, I know, got off to an early this morning." 

"You can come in . I'll just..." I open the door a bit more.

"No worries," he starts walking backwards towards his van, "I'll just sit in the van and finish my coffee. Pop out and let me know when you're ready."

"Ok." I run upstairs, have a quick wash, grab my jeans and jumper I threw on the chair the previous night, brush my hair and hurry back down. The getting "ready process" took less than three minutes.

By 8.20 he and I are in conversation. I tell him, that I'm glad I didn't have to wait for him, that I'm happy he turned up  early. I tell him I'm grateful I didn't have to wait for hours, stewing and unable to settle to do anything, like the last time. I tell him, I'm really not keen on having workmen come to the house, especially since my husband isn't here anymore.

"What happened to your husband," ha asks, his attention focused on the thermostat in his hand. He's here to replace the broken thermostat. 

"He died a year ago.  I miss him terribly, particularly for sorting out all these sorts of problems. And I'm actually quite nervous of having workmen coming to the house" 

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry," he turns towards me. His words, which I've heard, repeatedly, during the last year, carry a soft, genuine kindness in them, which throws me a little.

"Thank you," I rub the tears from my eyes. "I'm finding things really difficult. He used to deal with all these issues."

 "Who plays the guitar, is it you?" he nods over to the wall where two guitars hang. I wonder if he's trying to change the subject.  Again he responds gently and  I end  up telling him how hubby died at the end of our Pilgrimage and what a blessing it was. 

"Of course, it was traumatic too," I add. "I mean, I had to get him repatriated and everything." I start to think I'm telling him too much. Surely he doesn't want to hear all my woes, I think. 

But he asks more questions. About the Pilgrimage, about hubby's health,  about how long we were married. I rattle on, everything pours out. I tell him what a wonderful man Peter was. His questions  draw me into sharing some details of our Faith, which, of course, was so important to hubby. 

Afterwards, the conversation shifts slightly and, the plumber, who's  been in the house for less than twenty minutes starts saying he wants  to get a bible. He says he wants to find out what Christianity is all about.  We have a rather beautiful discussion about Jesus and prayer. If I had a spare bible on my shelf I'd give it to him. I tell  him to talk to Jesus as a friend, that He is always there for him. He says  he will  and he keeps thanking  me as we say goodbye at the door. 

"You know, you're amazing," he stops in the driveway and looks back at me, "I'd expect you to be very sad and actually, you're so joyful. And all those years you were married, and everything. Amazing." He walks towards the van, but turns around again.

"And," he says, "you're not pushy, are you? You have a strong faith, but you don't push it on others." He is so genuine.

"You don't think so?" I think I've been a bit too open.

"No, it's more that you're, sort of, helpful." 

"Ahh, thanks."

We give each other a wave and off he goes.

I don't know what, if anything, will come from  that encounter. However , I do think the Holy Spirit is  working and maybe , Peter is too. 

Obviously, I shall pray for Michael, the plumber.  I'm not likely ever to meet him again. Yet that doesn't matter.  

comments about memoir

 "There is Plenty to recommend about this book.... It is deftly written, with an eventful and entertaining life story and has pace and vitality...                                                                    I think Marian's storytelling is, by far, the strength of her writing. She writes effortlessly, with believable dialogue and with an eye for good storytelling. The reader is drawn into the story immediately with the account of the death of her parents... The story is both lively and interesting throughout, and maintains the readers  interest from start to finish."  ( Cliff Cobb)(Part of a much longer piece!)

"Finished! A really good read and I didn't want to put it down.  I completely "got" the characters,  you're so clever!   You took such a risk, opening your heart as you did. Your courage has me in absolute awe. I hope you have already started the next book...                   Anyway, thank you for writing such a beautiful and heartfelt memoir.                                    It will remain with me for a long, long time." (Michelle Collin)

A friend says 

"It is very much your voice: direct, personal, honest. And the  thread that runs throughout is your and Peter's love for each other. God knew that your vocation was to marriage - with all the sacrifices that entails - not to a nunnery. It wasn't blind chance that brought you together; it was the providence of God... " (Francis Philips)

"...what an opening chapter. Emotional and beautifully told 💓😭 in pieces." (Kate Walker)

"...the first chapter has me in floods of tears! Do I dare continue? 😟" (Joanna Teixeira) Rhetorical question, obviously.

"Thoroughly enjoyed reading the fabulous Marian Green's recently published memoir. It was as though she was with me, on my train journey, telling me her story." (Claire Upton) 

"Had to contact you to say I started reading your book and love it." (Maddie)

"Dear Marian,                                                                                                                         just started   reading your book last night and was   in floods of tears at the picture you painted of your parents' deaths.

You are very good at making the scenes come alive by describing the little details. For example, the purple blanket that you and Peter first bought in London which you couldn't bear to get rid of. 

You seemed such a warm and plucky person full of determination and full of fear simultaneously. I can relate to that!. The early times in Northampton when you felt the darkness inside you before you found Faith. And Peter's steadfast love for you even when you annoyed him!

I am hooked by the story and find it very heartfelt ... I haven't finished the book yet  as I want to savour it for a bit longer. " ( Emily Jacobs )

      "Finished reading your memoir. I didn't want it to end . I was hooked from the beginning and wanted more..." (Karen Mcgown)

" Wow, what a lovely memoir. I definitely wanted to know more about your life. So interesting." (F)

And  many people ( well, probably over  ten ) have said  they passed it on to others, their family member, or friend.   

Someone came up to me and said she'd been reading my memoir - her friend gave it to her and told her it was brilliant.

Another person told me , "your memoir is doing the rounds of all my friends. I'm sure they'll love it. " (Wendy Blanchet)

Blessings

 6th Oct 2025

Blessings

It is true that I have been extremely sad for weeks, with it  becoming more and more difficult to find any joy in my days.

Today, though I'm aware it might be a temporary relief, I am feeling slightly better. I will just enjoy this day and be thankful. 

Early this morning, at 7am, my friend and I took a walk along the coast. Part of me didn't want to bother. Didn't really want to bother with anything. However, when I looked out of the window I thought, "you know, you might as well go. It's not raining. It'll do you good." So, I went, and was very happy that I did. It turned out it was a good way to  distract me from myself and the overwhelming sadness. Even if it's only for a little while. 

 

Interestingly, saying yes at the start of the day led to more positive decisions. Making a doctors appointment  I was putting off, and being seen within an hour,  became easy, and it ticked another box of something needing to be done.  Initially, I wasn't too happy about the time of the appointment as it meant I  missed Mass at my Parish Church, and I particularly wanted to get to Mass today , it being the anniversary of the canonisation of St Josemaria.  

However, yet again, saying yes proved fruitful. I decided to go into Canterbury on the bus to another Church. It worked out better than I could have hoped.  I was early enough to join in praying part of the rosary of the day with the parishioners who were there.  On the bus coming home, again , I was so thankful for the way the day was turning out.

But that is not the end.

Getting off the bus a couple of stops before my stop, I  walked to the cemetery to spend some time sitting at the grave of my husband. There, I met a lovely lady who was also there visiting her husbands grave. And what joy to share our experiences of widowhood, her being a year ahead of me  in the process.  After nearly an hour chatting and telling stories, I was home holding my head high and my spirit lifted. I doubt she knew how much she gave me today. I am so grateful for meeting her. I hope I meet her again. 

Thank you , Father God.  

Joy of joys.

 3rd Oct 2025

Yes, Joy.  

Well, how about that, I'm writing on my blog easily, as I have access to a new ( to me anyway) computer. Let's hope it works. So far, so good. 

Of course, now I have the ability to write, nothing occurs to me. I'll have to have a little think. 

Maybe I need to give myself a prompt. 

Let's see.

Little Bird

Little Bird looked around, her head sore after the fall. 

Her wings, were they broken?

That fall, during the storm, had done damage.

Her house, most of it strewn around her.

Was there anything left to build upon,

Even if she managed to heal?

Little bird wondered how it had come to this,

And what must she do now,

How would she survive.

She tried to stand, but fell back.

There was no one left who would miss her.

She whispered,

"It's no use, I might just lie here and die."

At that moment, a small , juicy worm

 crawled in front of her.

With not an instant of hesitation,

She reached out her tongue and  he was gone. 

Regaining  her courage, she stood up.

Though she felt the pain, she spread her wings.

"I'm not giving up" she sang