6th April- Strangled

6th April


Strangled

Ivy and brambles grow tight into the structure,
Roots going deep into mud walls
Concealing the entrance.
With hacksaw and pain in equal measure,
I attack the wildness with vigour,
Thorns tearing at my flesh.
Driven by an impulse I can't ignore, success
Depends on this challenge and though blood
Drips all around,
I carry on.
I fight my way through the years of misery
And with every cut, with every root discarded,
I get nearer to the self I lost.
Then a gap, a small hole and I peer inside,
Squint to see what is there  in the dark
And carry on, renewed.
I will find my way in, the way to the present moment
And with God, find peace.

Brave Buddleia

4th July 2016

Time seems to be marching on at great speed and we are now in July. This last thirteen months has passed in a rather fuzzy blur. That's not to say the next thirteen will be any different . But will I have changed? Will things be the same or ...

But there is hope.

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to acquire a buddleia plant through freecycle:

Brave Buddleia

We eventually find the house,

Hidden a little off the busy main road.

Eagerly, expectantly I walk up the path,

Through a wonderland full of colour and joy.

The door opens - here it is, she points...

My balmy balloon bursts,

Oh well, got to take it now,

Maybe the pot will make a home for a 

Better specimen, yes, that's it.

We drive home - silently.

We look at our new find,

Pot bound, dry, dreary,

Leaves brown edged.

A sorry sight.

But, let's at least give it a chance, we say.

We dig a large hole - plenty of room to grow,

If it wants.

We drench the earth.

Next I loosen the roots,

Tubers grown in on themselves,

So much pulling, pinching, prizing apart, 

Might I kill it off?

Now,  place in hollow with care. 

And water, 

And water, 

And water.

Give it a few weeks to settle 

Then look on in wonder 

Green, bright,

Even flowering,

Our brave, beautiful Buddleia.

Sometimes I feel a bit like my buddleia plant - constrained, dying for want of the right goodness.

But plant me in the best place, give me nourishment and encouragement and a lot of love and I will blossom with happiness- well, we all will...