Your Birthday

 24th March

558

Another Day.

Without you.

Today is your birthday.

 You would have been seventy seven.

You promised we'd get old together, potter around,

help each other, love each other.

But, you left...

You went too early. 

I was not ready. Not ready.

I'm still,

Not ready.

No...

Yes, it might be, by some measure of time, quite long, 

this eighteen months and twelve days.

And, yes, it is...

However, I want you to know, that,

It's also like you've just left.

I still want to wake from sleep, and

feel you there, beside me .

I still want you to agree, or, not agree,

with all my musings,

to discuss, to make me see everything from,

a different, your, point of view.

I still want us to remember together,

all the many blessings that made up,

Our Life...

I loved that...

Sometimes, do you remember, we would be 

crying with joy as we pondered on

 God's goodness to us.

No, it's not easy, living without you 

beside me.

All those  "little" things didn't add up to,

very much in our day to day life,

But, it's those very ordinary things,

even the smallest irritations ,

that I miss the most, and,

would love to have back.

Am i being morbid? Maybe.

Should I just get on living without you?

Yes, surely.

And, I am, I am. I've got lots going on.

Yet, you aren't there, to share... 

Sometimes, that feels so heavy.

So very heavy...

Will I feel the same when your next

birthday comes around,

Another year from now?